This whole 2 weeks, life wasn't so beautiful to me. Don't get me wrong, because I'm not actually referring to anything severe that happened in life. End to end, January 2010 was not such a bad month to start the new year.
It was kinda expected that career wise, I may be facing small turbulence. At the rate of my recent career progression, plus the fact that I am no longer the SUPERWOMAN like I used to be, somehow my emotion started to get tainted with scars. Lucky that I have started a steady regime of exercise, which helped my physical body to cope with the stress, significantly. Anyway, the next couple of months shall certainly pose a great challenge to me. I hope I could use some of the advices that I used to share with friends regarding to stress management and career progression, especially this time.
Besides the story at office that made me away from writing, there was another interesting event of my personal life which has contributed to my seclusion from being expressive here. There is a Malay proverb saying, "Kalau dah jodoh tak ke mana," in which similarly can be understood as, "If it is meant to be, then it is." Those who followed my writings should have noticed that for the past couple of years, I was basically in search of 'my other half'. I was actually in full speed at searching for the suitable person, knowing the fact that I am not getting any younger. In the midst of the search, a few people were kind enough to say nice things about me whenever I vented out my frustration - somehow I felt that MEN are completely stupid and blind (no offense ya, guys).
Anyway, at the end of last year..when I wrote something about the criteria of the MAN I was looking for, it was at the point where the feeling of continuing the search suddenly decelerated I thought of the many advices from friends and families to stop looking - once and for all. I was already contemplating to accept the fact that perhaps I was meant to live life as a single person (I was happy being one!). The "HU-HA" of seeking for the love and attention from a GUY lately was just a phase before I finally bid goodbye to the whole 'implementation part' of FINDING MR RIGHT PLAN.
Somebody once said to me, "I didn't know that you are a defeatist," and my immediate reaction to the statement was, "No, I am not. There will always be a reason when I make a decision to withdraw from something or someone."
This time I have to say that although I have decided not to search, it doesn't mean that I will not be looking anymore. I think I have actually found one (at least there is still hope). The trick here now is - will I be able to learn how to love the way I am supposed to, how to care the way I am expected to and how to be the person as HE wants me to be?