What is wrong with me?

3:22 AM QUICK NOTES, RELATIONSHIP No Comments

What is wrong with me?
I walk with chin up;
Talk loud, act proud.
What is wrong with me?
My feet stands firmed;
My hands steer forward;
My body charge ahead;
My mind, my heart are rock solid hard.
What is wrong with me?
I speak out of those emotions;
I feel of those thoughts;
Confident is part of my composure.
Empathy is part of my conscience.


I know of my feelings now;
I know of my thoughts now.
But no word to form a speech;
But no act to show a desire.
What is wrong with me?
What is wrong with me?


(DA, November 2011)

Read More

My Dream Love Story

7:03 PM JUST FOR FUN, RELATIONSHIP 13 Comments

This morning I wake up and look straight up to the sky. It was a bright, sunny, clear blue sky. I felt so blessed. Then, I stand up – another day is about to start.

Each day the first thing I do is to put a smile on my face. It is the natural reflection of so much hope and love within me, which are meant to be shared. It is more than a blessing to have had the chance to share my love with people surrounding me, mama, papa, brothers, sisters, cousins, families, friends and who ever who came across my path.

After the last relationship, every day, for six years, I have not lost my hope – that one day I will find my so-called “prince charming”, my soul mate, my other half, MY LOVE. It is the dream which I live in reality.

God is the ultimate creator of life. Although I still walk my days alone, someday He will bring that ONE for me to experience the greatest gift of life – to love and be loved.

Some have said to me that I am too choosy. Well, I have good reasons for being one. It is my dream love – which I think belongs to me, unconditionally.

I hope for a man, who speaks softly and gracefully in front of me – reflecting the amount of respect any lady could have received. I hope for a man, who admires my beauty – reflecting the level of acceptance any lady could have embraced. I hope for a man, who stands up for me – reflecting the scale of courage any lady could have had.

Like a deep red coloured rose bud, the gentle and warmth of the sun will determine the soon change the feature of the rose bud. An ideal relationship is as such when the SUN and ROSE naturally work together, displaying the magnificent colour and shape of a full blossomed flower under the smartly lit surrounds light and temperature.

I dream for a love that is strong – built over trust and faith of two individuals.

I dream for a love that is wholesome – mixture of two arrays of strengths and weaknesses.

I dream for a love that is complete – pieces of puzzles that complements a picture in the making.

It will always be about personality and efforts of two souls, which can endure every challenges life could have ever spared for you. I wish that one day, the man who I hope for and the love that I dream of will forever make me smile, even when the morning sky is not blue.

This is my dream “Love Story”.

*************

Footnote:

I am still waiting for my own dream love story. Nevertheless, I have a few special person in family who have already found their dream love stories. I can hear wedding bells within the next 12 months, so I hope if this piece is chosen as a winner – I could share this with them.

A token of appreciation to CST production & Linda Rahim Kuala Lumpur for giving the opportunity for me to share my story

CST Production

Linda Rahim Kuala Lumpur

Read More

Jealousy - a sinful act

1:54 AM ARGUMENTS, RELATIONSHIP, TIPS No Comments

JEALOUSY - It is becoming an interesting obsession among individuals who happened to be in relationships. 


Personally I believe a spice of jealousy is acceptable in any kind of human relationship. In fact, this sense of wanting to have more or/and to be more of something is supposed to be a natural human attribute. Siblings are well known to feel envious of one and another when parents give different kind of attention to them. Close friends feels threatened when one's best friend suddenly shows extra attention to another friend. A wife usually gives hints to her husband when she senses something amiss with him. Many men or/and women often argue about infidelity, even when there is nothing going on between the partner and the so-called third party.


When two individuals of different gender start to become closer to each other, it is natural for the observing crowd to label them as 'to have something going on'. The statement of 'to have something going on' itself is very subjective. On that premise, one cannot simply assume that the relationship between these 2 individuals are always romantic and exclusive.


*************
Nowadays, many men and women 'treat' their partners as possessions; something (or someone) that belongs to them. Like a pet, relationship now starts when one had successfully put the partner in an invisible cage. I found it absurd to see friends or siblings or family members quickly being 'disciplined' of the 'reporting regime'. [FYI - reporting regime means having to communicate at a regular intervals of every act; past, present and future, of oneself]


Rule No 1 in a relationship : No one belongs to anyone. 
You cannot own a human being, for any reason. When you start to feel and think that that someone belongs to you, human in nature will begin to treat that someone as an item of possession. 


Rule No 2 in a relationship : Respect individual freedom and rights.
You cannot deny the needs and wants that is part of other individual. Remember when you decide to accept him/her for being who they are? The moment you made him/her yours, tendency of shaping someone else's persona according to your mold escalates significantly. 


Rule No 3 in a relationship : Believe, then trust will come naturally. 
You cannot always be doubtful. Relationship is a journey full of learning and involvement. Your mind and soul requires knowledge and skills to be learnt. The teacher is yourself and your partner. The student is yourself and your partner. Rejecting 'these' knowledge and skills means not believing. Hence, no trust can be built.


Break any rule of the above, then you'll get yourself overwhelmed by jealousy. 


*******************
I am writing this entry out of sympathy to many male friends of mine, whom happened to be the victim of pure jealousy. Over years I learnt that friendship are too precious for me to let go. Sadly, many of my good friends (who happened to be men) had to forego the history and connection me and them built for so many years, just because their girlfriends or/and wives are jealous of our friendship.


None of the many religions accept the act of breaking any kind of human relationship. In fact, in Islam, breaking ties of two human being is considered as a sin. 


My love and care for all who I know is unique to each and every one of them. It is devastating when I had to really let go.


Note: Jealousy and Envious are two different words that carry similar meaning in a different way.

Read More