Friday, March 26, 2010

Words, Phrases: cute redefinitions


Special thanks to the person who shares this with me.
I found them worth sharing with all of you. It makes me wonder how simple things can be explained, without losing its’ true essence:-

CIGARETTE
A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper
With fire at one end and a fool at the other!



MARRIAGE
It's an agreement, wherein
a man loses his bachelor degree
and a woman gains her master



LECTURE
An art of transmitting Information
from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of students
without passing through the minds; of either

CONFERENCE
The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present

COMPROMISE
The art of dividing a cake in such a way that
everybody believes he got the biggest piece


TEARS
The hydraulic force by which
masculine will power is
defeated by feminine water-power!



DICTIONARY
A place where divorce comes before marriage

CONFERENCE ROOM
A place where everybody talks, nobody listens
and everybody disagrees later on

ECSTASY
A feeling when you feel
you are going to feel
a feeling
you have never felt before

CLASSIC
A book which people praise,
but never read

SMILE
A curve that can set
a lot of things straight!



OFFICE
A place where you can relax
after your strenuous home life

YAWN
The only time when some married men
ever get to open their mouth

ETC
A sign; to make others believe
that you know more than you actually do

COMMITTEE
Individuals who can do
nothing individually
and sit to decide
that nothing can be done, together

EXPERIENCE
The name men give
to their Mistakes

ATOM BOMB
An invention to bring an end
to all inventions

PHILOSOPHER
A fool
who torments himself during life,
to be spoken of, when dead

DIPLOMAT
A person who tells you
to go to hell
in such a way
that you actually look forward
to the trip

OPPORTUNIST
A person who starts taking bath
if he accidentally falls
into a river

OPTIMIST
A person who while falling from EIFFEL TOWER
says in midway, "SEE I AM NOT INJURED YET!"

PESSIMIST
A person who says that
O is the last letter in ZERO,
Instead of the first letter in OPPORTUNITY

MISER
A person who lives poor
so that he can die RICH!

FATHER
A banker provided by nature







CRIMINAL
A guy no different from the other,
unless he gets caught

BOSS
Someone who is early
when you are late
and late
when you are early

POLITICIAN
One who shakes your hand
before elections
and your Confidence, Later

DOCTOR
A person who kills
your ills by pills,
and kills you by his bills!

What Say You?

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