Thursday, September 16, 2010

Jealousy - a sinful act

JEALOUSY - It is becoming an interesting obsession among individuals who happened to be in relationships. 


Personally I believe a spice of jealousy is acceptable in any kind of human relationship. In fact, this sense of wanting to have more or/and to be more of something is supposed to be a natural human attribute. Siblings are well known to feel envious of one and another when parents give different kind of attention to them. Close friends feels threatened when one's best friend suddenly shows extra attention to another friend. A wife usually gives hints to her husband when she senses something amiss with him. Many men or/and women often argue about infidelity, even when there is nothing going on between the partner and the so-called third party.


When two individuals of different gender start to become closer to each other, it is natural for the observing crowd to label them as 'to have something going on'. The statement of 'to have something going on' itself is very subjective. On that premise, one cannot simply assume that the relationship between these 2 individuals are always romantic and exclusive.


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Nowadays, many men and women 'treat' their partners as possessions; something (or someone) that belongs to them. Like a pet, relationship now starts when one had successfully put the partner in an invisible cage. I found it absurd to see friends or siblings or family members quickly being 'disciplined' of the 'reporting regime'. [FYI - reporting regime means having to communicate at a regular intervals of every act; past, present and future, of oneself]


Rule No 1 in a relationship : No one belongs to anyone. 
You cannot own a human being, for any reason. When you start to feel and think that that someone belongs to you, human in nature will begin to treat that someone as an item of possession. 


Rule No 2 in a relationship : Respect individual freedom and rights.
You cannot deny the needs and wants that is part of other individual. Remember when you decide to accept him/her for being who they are? The moment you made him/her yours, tendency of shaping someone else's persona according to your mold escalates significantly. 


Rule No 3 in a relationship : Believe, then trust will come naturally. 
You cannot always be doubtful. Relationship is a journey full of learning and involvement. Your mind and soul requires knowledge and skills to be learnt. The teacher is yourself and your partner. The student is yourself and your partner. Rejecting 'these' knowledge and skills means not believing. Hence, no trust can be built.


Break any rule of the above, then you'll get yourself overwhelmed by jealousy. 


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I am writing this entry out of sympathy to many male friends of mine, whom happened to be the victim of pure jealousy. Over years I learnt that friendship are too precious for me to let go. Sadly, many of my good friends (who happened to be men) had to forego the history and connection me and them built for so many years, just because their girlfriends or/and wives are jealous of our friendship.


None of the many religions accept the act of breaking any kind of human relationship. In fact, in Islam, breaking ties of two human being is considered as a sin. 


My love and care for all who I know is unique to each and every one of them. It is devastating when I had to really let go.


Note: Jealousy and Envious are two different words that carry similar meaning in a different way.

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